Crappy Calls EP 1

by Ziz

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Streaming + Download

Purchasable with gift card

1.	Pick-up truck order 00:50	lyrics	download
[Man] Hello? [Woman] HI I NEED MY PICKUP TRUCK BY TOMMOROW OR I WILL LITTERALY DIE. [Guy] Ummm, okay... Uh, what car brand are you looking for? [Woman] UH JUST GIVE ME ANY PICKUP TRUCK MY WIFES ABOUT TO LEAVE ME. MY HUSBAND I MEAN... I'M NOT, I'M NOT A LESBIAN... [Guy] Okay... we have... We have... Ram- [Woman] UHHH UHHH UH I'LL TAKE THE RAM PLEASE, I'LL TAKE THE RAM, PLEASE. I'LL TAKE THE RAM. [Guy] Okay... Now now do you have... Ummm... 64 thousand dollars on you? [Woman] (mic blowing) (devil noises)
2.	Pretzels 01:22	lyrics	download
[Hospital] Hi, this is your local hospital, serving you and your.... health. [Man] Hi. Do you have, do you have pretzels in your vending machine? [Hospital] Ummm... Ummm yeah, why? [Man] Uhhhh I like to go for a walk around the perimeter and I just wanna stop for a quick snack on the way. [Hospital] Ummm this is a hospital. [Man] Yeah but ummm... Is your vending machine maintained and ummmm how much do the pretzels cost? [Hospital] Uhhhh we don't check the vending machines. Ummm... They're only there for if people want to buy them while their waiting to get an appointment. [Man] Okay... Uhhh I'll just... I'll walk behind the block and buy some LSD instead. [Hospital] No no no no no no don't do that, don't do that. You'll get arrested. [Man] Uhhh uh why? Gonna buy some weed edibles. Instead of your pretzels and your non maintained... vending machines.
3.	Grandpa 00:50	lyrics	download
[Jimmy] Grandpa, grandpa! What's going on? [Grandpa] Jimmy... I cannot walk anymore. Go to my house, quick! [Jimmy] Oh dad, pop, pop whats happening? [Grandpa] I am unable to walk Jimmy. Jimmy, get your mother to drive to my house, and bring me a leg. [Jimmy] You want mother's to buy you a new leggie? [Grandpa] Yes Jimmy! I can't walk. Bring a leggie! Bring me leg. Please, bring me leg, please Jimmy get your mother to bring me leg. [Jimmy] Okay, okay grandpa. Grandpa okay.
4.	Pizza 00:38	lyrics	download
[Dominos Pizza Worker] Hello this is Dominos Pizza. [Prank Caller] Hello. Can I order a pizza with poop, with extra pee, extra semen, extra... bum, and the sliced booty cheeks umm pizza. Make sure the booty cheeks are fried, before they get put on the pizza. Deliver to Butthead Street, B-U-T-T-H-E-A-D S-T. [Dominos Pizza Worker] Kill yourself.
5.	Religious Croissant 01:04	lyrics	download
[Man 1] H-h-hello? [Man 2] Hi wanna hear a fun fact? [Man 1] Ok... [Man 2] Have you ever heard of a RELIGIOUS CROISSANT? [Man 1] What the hell is a- [Man 2] RELIGIOUS CROISSANT [Man 1] Yeah, yeah um, yeah whats a- [Man 2] RELIGIOUS CROISSANT [Man 1] Religious... Croissant? [Man 2] RELIGIOUS CROISSANT (??????????????????) AND YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME YOU PIECE OF BUM AND YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID IDIOT I HOPE YOU DIE AND SHOOT YOURSELF YOU PIECE OF (????????) RELIGIOUS CROISSANT [Man 1] Oka-